


we're on each other's team

by someplacewarm



Category: Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: AU where akila lives basically for the sake of one line in the fic, Canon Divergence, Gen, Jason Todd is Red Hood, No proofreading we die like mne, Team Bonding, jason is lowkey sad but arent we all, minor background akila/artemis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 17:49:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20213821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someplacewarm/pseuds/someplacewarm
Summary: The Outlaws decide to catch up before an upcoming mission and Artemis realizes she has a serious bone to pick with both her teammates.





	we're on each other's team

**Author's Note:**

> For the Jason Todd Birthday Week!

When Jason entered the safehouse, Artemis was standing in front of the television with her arms crossed. 

At least this time it wasn't at him. 

“I cannot believe you've chosen this ridiculous game as a means of entertainment, Bizarro,” she was saying to a distracted Bizarro playing video games. “Being in this putrid city has ruined you.”

“Hey, cut him some slack,” Jason said, tossing aside his helmet carelessly. Artemis flinched at the metal landing on the couch but didn't say anything. He hadn't accidentally blown up his house yet but he might have with how he kept throwing the damn helmet around.  
He dropped down beside Bizarro, watching the screen for a moment. “Use the grenades, big guy, they're easier.” 

“Red Him smart.” Bizarro said, pushing the buttons with a little extra vigor than necessary. If he kept up, they'd probably have to buy a new controller. Not the first time that would be happening. 

“You bet I am.” Jason said, poking his tongue at Artemis. In casual clothing, she looked almost normal, like she wasn't actually a life-threatening Amazon warrior. Nonetheless, he'd try not to push his luck too far. Try being the operative word. 

Artemis sighed and muted the television. “Men are useless.” Bizarro scowled, but didn't dare turn up the volume again.

“It's been a long week.” Jason said, leaning his head back against the couch. “Scratch that. It's been a long life.” 

“You're being dramatic.” Artemis said, unimpressed. She looked bored but also a little impatient, like she was waiting for both of them to come to their senses. Jason wasn't ready. He just wanted to close his eyes and sleep forever. Or at least for the next three weeks. When was the last time he got the daily recommended four hours of sleep, again? He couldn't remember. In fact, he felt like he was forgetting something time and again, yet couldn't rack his brains to understand what. 

“You went patrolling with your brother.” Artemis noted, snapping him out of his reverie. “I would assume having a partner would reduce your workload but clearly that is not the case.”

“Duke’s not my brother.” Jason argued. “Or at least I don't think Bruce adopted him-- I don't know, he's crazy. Anyway, is that concern I hear?” 

“Don't be ridiculous.” Artemis said. “I came here to say goodbye and revise our plan for the coming weeks.”

Right. Egypt. Artemis would be heading there to retrieve some kind of weapon with her sisters beforehand. The Outlaws would join her later on. More specifically, three weeks later on. 

“You sure you don't want me to come?” Jason asked. “My grades are doing alright now, I could…” Enrolling in college was a last minute impulsive decision that he had made at the start of the year. A degree was something he had always wanted and subsequently, he ended up pulling longer hours than usual being both an underworld crime boss and a college student. Artemis and Bizarro had been nothing short of supportive but seeing how he had to cut down some Outlaws time in exchange for this, he felt a bit guilty.

“Absolutely not.” And she was right. As much as Jason wanted to help, there was no way he was comfortable with missing out on college. “Your educational training is most crucial. We will survive without you.”

“Aww,” Jason cooed. “Don't miss me too much, I'll be joining you guys during spring break anyway.” Three weeks from now, he'd be in Egypt too. He was sure they could handle this without him until then. “I've got to or Bruce is going to find it weird that I've been in Gotham this long. It's like having a hawk breathing down your neck. Or a really annoying bat.” 

Bruce would probably be mad at him for using his legal name to enrol, if he ever found out. Jason wished he gave a fuck. He just wanted a degree with his name on it. But still, it would be good to get out of Gotham for a while once the semester ended. Avoid the wrath of the Bat.

“Bizarro miss Red Him.” Bizarro said, sadly, throwing his palm onto Jason's knee. He'd been hanging around Jason's apartment ever since he started attending Gotham University, playing video games and occasionally trying to cook for Jason (that had stopped soon enough after several fire alarms). He supposed he was the first college student to have a Superman clone roommate by day and deadly teammate by night. 

“I'll be there soon enough buddy,” Jason said, reassuringly. “Promised you I'd take you to the pyramids, didn't I?” 

“Bizarro miss Red Her too.”

“Bizarro, I'll send word for you a week from now.” Artemis said, softly, squeezing his hand. It would seem even she couldn't be mad at him for too long. “Until then, no more video games.” she said anyway, albeit lightly. “There's another thing.” 

“What's that?” Jason asked distractedly, staring at his TV. Bizarro blew up another monster's head with a grenade, nearly blowing up his own. Too close-range. He had to admire the realism the creators had put in. 

“Your brother has kindly reminded me that today is your day of birth.” Artemis stated, sounding almost cross. Her amber eyes were almost glowing fiercely, like she was daring Jason to cross paths with her. 

So that's what he'd been forgetting. 

“You've been talking to Dick?” Jason asked. That was the least of his amusement, considering the prick had bothered to remember his birthday in the first place. Jason himself had forgotten, unsurprisingly, since he barely found the need to celebrate anymore. 

“Red Him birthday!” Bizarro cheered happily, shooting several of the enemy tankers at once. Jason had to admit that made him a little proud. 

“I crossed paths with him on the way here,” Artemis stated with a half disgruntled expression. Jason understood. Dick had that effect on some people. “He said he would stop by later. I thought it would be best to let you know, considering you do not take to impromptu family gatherings so kindly.” 

“Wow, you know me so well.” Jason said, standing up suddenly. He pat Bizarro's shoulder. “Come on. If Dickiebird is coming here then we gotta move.” 

“Cake?” Bizarro asked, confused. 

“I’ll buy you three if you haul our asses out of here in the next five minutes,” Jason promised. 

‘

Funnily enough, Bizarro flew them to the highest point in the city -- an old gargoyle that Jason had been particularly fond of as a child. That probably said a lot about Jason’s childhood but he gave it a comforting pat on the head anyway. Artemis sat down beside it, watching the city underneath them. Bizarro took to flying instead, enjoying the warm breeze flapping his cape. The distant buzz of the city filled Jason with a sense of nostalgia. Another year in this stupid, beautiful, rotten city, he thought. It was almost bittersweet. 

“This is great,” Jason exclaimed, stretching his arms out. “Dick will never find us here.” Overhead, Bizarro began flying in a loop, swooshing down to give Jason a high-five every five minutes. 

“You did not tell us it was your birthday,” Artemis said quietly, gazing at Jason from the corner of her eye. “It is common among almost all traditions and cultures to celebrate. If I had known, I would have put off the trip by a few days.”

“And miss reuniting with Akila? Please, Artemis, even _you're_ not strong enough to resist that kind of desire.” He winked at her, and Artemis scoffed, though he didn’t miss the slight pink of her cheeks. 

“If you wish to keep your tongue, I would suggest you stop talking.” Artemis warned. “I was being serious. Trust among a team is important, I would have assumed by now that you would be comfortable disclosing such details with us.” 

“Yes.” Bizarro said sadly, hovering above them. “Red Him keeping secrets.”

“Come on guys,” Jason said, holding his hands out placatingly. “I wasn’t keeping it a secret, I literally just forgot until you reminded me. It’s not like I ever celebrated it after I came back from the dead, anyway.” 

Artemis looked at him skeptically, then at Bizarro. “Bizarro?”

Bizarro scrunched up his face for a moment and then grinned. “Telling the truth, Red Her.”

“Hey, that’s unfair!” he exclaimed. “There’s gotta be a rule against listening to heartbeats without consent.”

“Sorry Red Him,” Bizarro said, playfully. “Two against one.”

“Yes,” Artemis agreed. “After all, wasn’t it you who said rules were made to be broken?”

Jason sighed. “I hate you both.” He ran his hand idly through his hair. Birthdays were so odd after his return. Gone at fifteen, back at twenty. “You know, we should probably celebrate the day I came back from the dead too, for good measure. It's been, what, two years?” 

“Explains why you behave like a two year old.” Artemis stated dryly. 

“Not your best comeback, I'm afraid.” 

“Bizarro be right back.” Bizarro exclaimed, suddenly, speeding downwards towards the city.

“What's gotten into him?” 

Artemis shook her head, but Jason could see the tiny smile on her face. 

“We have not bought you a present, Jason.” she said, slowly unclasping the necklace she wore around her neck. “But it is common in Bana-Mighdall to present a comrade a sisterhood necklace as a symbol of trust on the field.” She hooked it around Jason's neck. “It is not much, but I hope you understand the significance of my sharing this with you.”

“Wow,” he said, staring down at the little piece of reed around his neck. “Am I like, the first dude ever to wear this?”

“Perhaps,” Artemis said slyly. 

“And it isn't against Bana-Mighdall law for you to give me this?” he asked, tugging at the string gently. “Hah, I bet even Batman didn't get something like this from Wonder Woman for his birthday.”

“Bana-Mighdall has no law against sharing necklaces,” Artemis replied, rolling her eyes. “As for your father..”

Jason stared down at his fingers. At the tiny little bruises coloring his pale skin. “You know, the only reason I forgot is probably because he didn't call.” he said. Off late, Alfred would call, conveying the wishes of the whole family. Still, things were strange now. “Even when I was a kid, I only ever celebrated my birthday when I was with him.” 

“The night is still young,” Artemis replied gently.

“Hmm. Thanks, Artemis,” Jason said seriously, twirling the little bead around his finger. “It’s a great gift, really.”

“Then I suppose you’ll enjoy what Bizarro’s brought you,” Artemis said, looking up at the sky, where Bizarro was holding up an uprooted tree in his arms. His face looked triumphant. 

“Uh, Biz?”

“Red Him says he wants to try gardening last week,” Bizarro explained. “Bizarro try bringing Robinson Park but security guard say no, so brought tree instead.”

Oh.

“I would’ve loved to know what that conversation was like,” Jason muttered, before standing up to take a good look at his tree. There was a strange feeling in his heart, at the sight of his teammates and their “gifts”. Warmth spread across his chest so infectiously that he couldn't stop a smile from tugging over the corners of his lips. “Thanks, Bizarro, I love it.”

Bizarro set down the tree and grabbed Jason, pulling him into a tight hug that Jason was sure broke a rib or two. “Happy Birthday, Red Him.” From behind him, Artemis looped her arms around the two of them, circling around Jason like one red cocoon. As far as birthdays went, he liked how lowkey it was. He supposed the true mark of a team was how well they all hated parties and being around other people. 

Walking back to his apartment was a strange occurrence, considering Bizarro was carrying a literal tree over his shoulder, but not a single Gothamite bat an eyelid. Why would they? Jason thought. They'd probably seen worse. 

“We will celebrate once you get to Egypt,” Artemis stated, slapping Jason's shoulder once they reached his living room. “You are not exempt from treating us with fine dining. Right, Bizarro?” 

“Cherry coke, too.” Bizarro said absently, licking his lips. 

“Sure,” Jason said. He turned to Artemis. “You sure you don't want to stay for dinner?” 

“No.” Artemis replied. “I must meet with my sisters. I'll see you both soon. Good luck on your examinations.” 

Jason nodded, closing the door after her. Bizarro was right. He'd miss her too, but that's what made their team so great -- they'd survive without each other with ease. 

He came back into the hall. Bizarro looked bored, glancing hesitantly at the controller in his hands. Jason would ideally have liked to go to bed but one game wouldn't hurt. Even if he had a class early the next morning. Life was all about making bad choices for temporary pleasure anyway. How else had he reached the ripe old age of twenty-two? “Wanna play a round, Biz?” 

“Red Her said no.” 

“I don't see her here.” Jason said, making a big show of looking around for Artemis. “Do you?” Bizarro shook his head. “Besides, you haven't finished that chapter yet, I wanna see how it ends.”

Jason pulled his legs up, settling in for what would definitely be a long night. As far as birthdays went, twenty two didn't seem that bad.

**Author's Note:**

> Epilogue: Dick goes to Jason's house, finds nobody there and sadly eats the cake he bought from Wholefoods all by himself. The end.


End file.
